It’s 12.45 am when I started writing this. I should have gone to sleep. Alas, insomnia has strucked and won’t let me fall into my deep slumber.
Have you ever felt like not going to sleep?
You simply don’t want the day to change because you had a good day and you have no idea of what tomorrow’s going to be like. All the uncertainties hold you back from living the always-goes-on life. Queasiness is seeping through while the time keeps running, couldn’t be care less about someone who nearly missed the train home.
Times like these make me feel…..sick.
And I think I’ve missed the last train home.
Ragu menoleh ketika Pagi menyapa. Takut membuka pintu ketika Siang mengetuk.
Malam membelenggu dan menghantuiku.
“Tinggal lah. Bukankah kamu senang berada disini? Tidak ada kesendirian, ketakutan, dan ketidakpastian. Hanya ada selimut hangat dan ketenangan, seperti yang kamu inginkan.”
Dan ketika aku berada di batas dunia, Malam menang atas diriku.
Happy birthday, Ma, have a happy year ahead! I’m praying for you to always be under Allah’s protection. I wish you happiness, good health, love, and all best things in the world.
I’m sorry this writing is all I got for now, I haven’t found any decent gift. I’ll try to find a good one and make sure it would not be another 8-months-late birthday gift :p
You know, this oldest, awkward daughter of yours is too chicken to come up to you and say all this things verbally. But here it is.
Please don’t be too stressed about things, be it work or anything.
Do hug me whenever you feel like you need someone to lean to (I’m not the best hugger but at least I don’t smell bad)
Don’t keep things to yourself, I’d be more than glad to be your listening ear (although giving advice is not my specialty).
Do bother me if you need something, I may be a lazy daughter but I can be useful too!!!
Don’t stop throwing out lame jokes, they are lame, but I love it anyway (this is probably because we share the same sense of humour).
Thank you for being a figure I look up to.
Thank you for all the smile you’ve put on when everyone else were having a bad day.
Thank you for the neverending support and life advice you’ve given.
Thank you for every single thing you’ve done out of love.
I know I never, for even once in my 19-years-life, say things like “I love you” and whatnot. Like you may have known, I’m much of a writing person when it comes to ~sweet~ things.
So, through this writing, I want you to know that I really love you.
Once again, happy birthday Ma, thank you for taking care of me and watching me grow for the past 19 years. I love you!
See you tomorrow!